Dear Jonah, Marcus, and Kariah,
I recognize this is a bit above your heads. But since this blog will be turned into a book which you will always keep, this might be meaningful. We have lots of magazines floating around the house, mostly due to free subscriptions we get from your Dad's frequent flier miles. So it was apropos that I was reading Time this morning, while your Dad was toiling away in Mexico City.
The article was about marriage, about how recently so many politicians and others have been caught cheating on their spouses and their marriages have consquently been flushed down the toilet.
The writer went on to say that our country is at a crossroads, trying to decide whether the institution of marriage is worth saving. Her point was yes, for the children. She cited numerous studies on the affect of single parent households and the affect it has on kids. Even taking socio-economics into it, the effect of a missing parent holds more sway than affluency on the success of children. "Children of divorced middle-class parents do less well in school and at college compared to underpriviledged kids from two-parent households."
Your Daddy and I have been married 10 years in just a few days. On that sweltering, sweaty July day, much like this one, we made covenants to each other and to Heavenly Father, that we would always remain faithful to one another. You need to understand this is not the norm. 50% of our peers, if married, have already been unfaithful. By the time we reach our 20 year anniversary the number will raise to 80%.
It is so easy to let that happen, we recognize that and that is why it never will. My promise extends to you, my children. I promise that I will always put your Daddy first, that I will go on weekly date nights with him, so that long after you are gone we will still have something to talk about. I promise to change and to grow, and allow him to do so as well.
I value marriage, not only for you and your success in life, but for me. I truly believe the purpose of this life is to become better. To finish as a significantly better person that when you started. And every day I spend with your Dad, makes me a better person. We are better together than alone.
That is
not to say we always get along. Daddy and I have our share of arguments. Let it be known that I am one of the moodiest Mommy's ever, and your Dad's best energy, patience, and endurance is taken by his job. We are not perfect. But we love each other. And we continue to work to make sure we always will.
The writer summed it up well, "...is marriage an institution that still hews to its old intention and function - to raise the next generation, to protect and teach it, to instill in it the habits of conduct and character that will ensure the generation's own safe passage into adulthood? Think of it this way: the current generation of children, the one watching commitments between adults snap like dry twigs..that's the generation who will be taking care of us when we are old...What we teach about the true meaning of marrage will determine a great deal about our fate."
And so I teach you, my children. Marriage matters. Without it, the family fails. As does society. Marriage matters.
