They Say It's My Birthday

Dear Chitlins~

Today's the day. The day your mama is officially in her 30s. It's a good day.

A brief history of life. Here I am when I was officially the baby of the family. What a good looking crew! See anyone familiar looking in there? After two mini-Chads, I had desperately hoped for a girl who looked like me. I think we got her. Wonder who the next one will look like.

This is 18 years later, celebrating Nana's graduation with her Masters in Counseling. What a proud moment! This has Uncle Dan, not yet born in the first picture. Another good looking crew.

Kids, this girl-woman that you see there...that's how I think of myself. Now, please I know that's not reality any more. I know after 3 kids and one more on the way, things have definitely....shifted. For some reason my hair lost more curl with each pregnancy. My eyes have rejected contacts entirely. And don't get me started on stretch marks.

But honestly, when I go for hours, okay days, without looking in the mirror, the person in my head is that person in this picture. And honestly, it's a shock every time when I don't see her anymore. And most of the time it's okay. I'm very proud of the Mama I've turned into. I am very proud of the children I'm raising, of the husband I love, of the life I choose to lead. And no one can be 21 forever. I wouldn't give this life up for anything.

And yet. That's a gorgeous girl. I hope I knew that at the time. I hope you know it, Kariah. When you are 21 and stunning and smart and have the world at your fingertips. I hope you know it and love it and are able to choose that which really matters.

I love you guys. You really matter. To me.