Why Mommy is Nervous, the Conclusion.

Dear Riah,

So we left off with Mommy meeting Daddy. Mommy was introduced to Daddy, as you will hear over and over and over again in your life, by her college roommate and Daddy's high school friend Aunt Michelle. She took me to his mission homecoming, Grandma T cornered us in the hallway and made sure we came over for the luncheon and the rest is history.

Sounds typical, why was my world upside down you ask? Because falling in love was not in the plans, let alone getting married.

But there he was, this man who actually listened when I spoke. He laughed at my stupid jokes. He was crazy tall and handsome and SMART and for some crazy reason, thought I was smart and funny.

But as always, it was bigger than that. From our first date, I finally found that sense of "belonging" that I had been looking for all my young life. This relationship made no sense at all, and yet it was crystal clear to both of us that together was where we belonged.

And Daddy had a scholarship to BYU so apparently we "belonged" in Utah. After we were married, he took off one semester so I could graduation, then Christmas, then move, then BYU started.

I decided I wanted a break from theatre, especially knowing the professional groups were in SLC, a good 1 1/2 hour drive from Provo and I was downright scared of the Utah winter. I rationalized it saying I was burnt, having lived and breathed it since I was in 3rd grade.

It took me 6 weeks to find my $8 an hour secretary job, which I hated. The Provo job market was one big community-theatre-precast. It sucked. I finally weasled my way into a job at BYU and then we focused on having Baby #1. Baby #2 weasled his way into our family soon after, then graduation, first job, diapers, callings, then an awesome stint in real estate. But theatre was nowhere to be found.

Till my 30th birthday. A huge group of girlfriends took me, preggo with you, to an awesome improv show. I found myself laughing so hard, I couldn't see. It had been a long time. It was shockingly inoffensive, the owner an LDS man that won't even let people use the Lord's name in vain, let alone swear words and nasty topics. And yet ridiculously funny.

I vowed to someday be on that stage, making people laugh. I promised myself I would find my funny again. I promised I would give myself the second chance I had taken away in college. Maybe I would suck, fall on my face in a cloud of forced uncomfortable giggles. But I wouldn't know until I tried.

And that's the point, honey. Sometimes you will disappoint yourself. Sometimes you choose the Better over the Good. But always give yourself a second chance.

And tonight, in front of strangers, family, and friends, I will. 7:30 pm. Jesterz Improv.